We cut our own tree this year.
My youngest son and I walked out to the side yard in our flannel pajamas and rain boots and picked out a lovely red cedar sapling that was nestled up beside my favorite pecan tree.
We've run the gamut of Yule trees- real ones and fake ones, store bought ones and some very nice hand-me-down ones. Regardless of the tree, I always wanted it to be "perfect".
It had to have that perfect cone shape.
I wanted all the ornaments to match and have some sort of theme.
My husband begged me for multi-color lights. My children begged me for fun, festive ornaments. I would always snap "no!" or go get an "alternate" tree for them.
No one wanted to decorate with me. No one got excited. No one felt very festive.
Sure, relatives would come over and go on and on about my lovely tree. How nicely decorated, how full and perfectly shaped.
Last year was the first year I gave in to multi-color lights. Partly because I wanted my family to enjoy the season and partly because I had lost last year's box of ornaments and lights (this happens to me a lot) and the only lights they had left were multi-color.
I sort of threw my hands up. "Now's as good a time as any." I bought the lights...
and matching ornaments.
Because I'll be damned if I have a tacky, mis-matched tree.
But this year- we've been so busy with the store- I got way behind on my decorating. I don't know what motivated me to get off the couch and go cut this sucker down, but I did it.
And it was awesome.
This tree is by no means perfect. It's sparse and weird-shaped and really difficult to wrap with lights Martha Stewart style, but I love this tree.
Every time I look at it, I laugh. I laugh because I think of the comedy of errors it took to get it out of the thicket and into the house. I laugh because I think of how no one else has a tree like this taking up too much space in their living room. I laugh because this tree is a big "fuck you" to the perfect pointed cones lined up like little soldiers at the tree farms.
I laugh because this weird little tree is making me insanely happy right now.
It's making my husband and kids happy.
It reminded my dear, sweet cousin of going to cut trees with her dad when she was a kid.
And this little cedar sapling- proudly adorned with lights and ornaments (a good deal of them hand-made) and my beloved Frau Holle- is standing right in the middle of my living room. Right by the front window.
It's beautiful because it's special. It makes us happy and we love it. We will celebrate this season of family and togetherness under the warm glow of lights from this dear little tree.
And I hope that I will remember all the lessons I am learning from this simple red cedar.
And I will be beautiful and adorned and loved and different.
Happy Holidays!!
The best trees are always the ones you cut down yourself, I cant remember how many times we would cut down a Christmas tree and dragged it home. Stupid things were ALWAYS way to big, 8-10 feet tall, so big around that 3 grown men could not put their arms around it. It would always have a knot so the star did not sit right, or a giant gaping hole on one side. There was one that always looked like it was trying to tip over no matter what was done to keep it up. My ramblings aside those were the best tree's, the most memorable trees, the trees that make you smile the most even after they are long gone. So have fun with your red cedar sapling!
ReplyDeleteThat was great. And the tree is perfect because that is the way this tree was supposed to be. You too are perfect because that is the way you are put together. If you were any different, you would not be you and all the people who know the you that you are have been blessed by you.
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